...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize