My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
