Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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