oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
