I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
