Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It's just like the Real World with babies
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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