there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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