you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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