Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
