ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
