I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
