I looked at my own cervix.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
