I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
