Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
