Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just want to make out with him forever
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
