i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
and eventually we just all took our pants off
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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