Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
