we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize