I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
