Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
