i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
