he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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