speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
