If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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