Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
