Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
