Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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