I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
