sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
