you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
