I've blown a few things in my day
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
