Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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