yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
