theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
