Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize