I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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