my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
