dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
