The maid of honor just puked.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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