Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
