Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
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