How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
