Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
