Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
