How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
