we're chasing vodka with high fives
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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