You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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