Apparently you make a good broom.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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