Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
