They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
of course. lets lasso hookers.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
