i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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