I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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