I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize