So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
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