I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Randomize
