this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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