Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
