Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
