I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
