Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize