Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Randomize
