Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize