We're like a lot better than the average bears
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
