having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
this boner is exhausting
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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