Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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