sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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