I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
