so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
