remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
