Me. At least after what I've been through.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
