you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
