Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
