i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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