mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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