her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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